Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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