I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
