New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize