my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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