Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
