Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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