just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
