i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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