You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
