It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize