i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
