theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
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I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
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I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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