She's JV to your varsity
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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