You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
