I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
