WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
