He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
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Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
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I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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