Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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