Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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