What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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