Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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