I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
