you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
