I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
