I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
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