We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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