So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
