so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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