Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize