just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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