So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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