Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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