I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
