I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
