I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
