Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
