he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
