Don't you send me to vm
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
