I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
