so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I need to wash the frat house off of me
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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