i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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