he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
