so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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