Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
