Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize