I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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