Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
