...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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