I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
