Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I booty called her while she was in labor.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
