i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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