He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
