Only a mothe r could love this liver
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
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