speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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