those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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