I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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