just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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