he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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