she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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