My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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