why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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