I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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