Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
