Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize