Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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