This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
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I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
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I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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