I CAN MOONWALK!
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
