I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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