Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
this is an emotional support booty call
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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