Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
