please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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