So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
