Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
