either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
